So life is kind of crappy; I can deal. I can make lemonade from lemons.
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So, I've been thinking. I am twenty-one-years old. I have had one really serious relationship, and it was mostly in high school, so I do not think it even counts for all that much.
There are so many people around me who have been with the same person forever and ever. People are either married, getting married, or something. I'm nearing the age where a lot of people get married these days, and I cannot even find someone who wants to have a relationship with me. It's such a scary world out there. Can you even think about someone contemplating marrying me? I cannot. I'm just afraid of being alone for the rest of my life. Everyone has that special someone out there, and in the interim, they date other people during the path to finding that special someone. But again, if no one will date me, who will sweep me off my feet and marry me?
I am still sort of dating Jason, but I have not seen him in nearly two weeks. I know he does not want a relationship with me, but some things, some things mean way too much to me. He gave me flowers for my birthday. No one has given me flowers before. Okay, I'm babbling now, but maybe someone out there can provide some answers and/or insight for me. Maybe someone out there loves me...but for now, the best I can try to do is to love myself and just be me.