So life is kind of crappy; I can deal. I can make lemonade from lemons.
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So I got maybe five hours of sleep last night. I went to bed somewhere near 2:30, and I woke up at 7:30ish with horrible stomach pain. Yay. Arthur, you are completely correct, I do not sleep.
So here's yesterday in a nutshell.
I woke up at 4:45 A.M. to go to a meeting at work. I got to work at about 6:20, and then I realized that it was my last day. However, I felt like someone was repeatedly stabbing me in the lower-left quadrant of my stomach. I called my mother, and she said that the only thing over there would be my ovaries. Nice. As if I needed any more stomach problems. Bah.
So I worked until 3:45, submitted a resume for the internal auditor position upstairs at the national office. I was talking to the HR at work about my time off and getting a benefit hour drive, which is essentially where people donate their paid time off to you, and she's telling me that there's a problem with my doctor's note. It does not have a specific time frame. Well, seeing that I have yet to go to a surgeon...we have no idea. And with surgery, though it's fairly routine, you still never really know how long recovery will take. My appendectomy, probably for various reasons, took forever AND a day to heal...
Anyway, back to the fun stuff. I got my car washed; hooray for pay day. Then I went to Hillel. I don't know how it is in the mens' bathroom, but in the womens' bathroom, and many agree with me, the stalls are like teeny cages. It's hard enough to just plop down on the toilet, let alone change in one of the stalls, but I did it.
Services were fairly uneventful, Adam didn't sound to well, and then I later found out he wasn't feeling well. Feel better, Adam!
Dinner was another story, however. First, Annie left me to go to San Franciso, which I later equated to her hanging out with gay guys, which only thoroughly confused Daniel. I am also now a man according to many people. It was kind of scary in a way, when everytime Arthur mentioned something having to do with a man, he glanced over in my direction. But then I was told that I am more of a man than Arthur, so it was all gravy. Sorry, I had to make a pun on the "Thanksgiving-style" dinner.
Then, I was not a man when Sam called me "doll" somewhere near three hundred times. He invited me over to drink vodka with him, but since I am not a drinker, we debated over whether he would take advantage of me. It's been a long time since someone has done that...
Okay, here's a funny one - We know Sam loves everyone, so somehow, we got to talking about his holding Reiser's hand. Sam does so and starts to stroke Aaron's hand. At this moment, Aaron is so deft and swift in the way he picks up a knife, turns it around, and points it at Sam.
Somehow, I get the idea that I want a hot date for the night. Maybe it was the sleeplessness talking. Maybe it was all the hugging going on. I haven't been hugged so much since I last saw Regina. I don't even remember how I am related to her, through marriage or something distant, but she's almost like the Bubbe I never had, fussing over me and hugging me to death.
Just when we are about to leave Hillel, we have to sit and mensch, because they needed 10 men. Arthur even bothered to count everyone to make sure! So, I get invited to the movies, and Arthur points out, "Aaron G. will be there." Whatever the hell that means, but I love Aaron, so it's okay. We all leave for the movies at fdifferent times, and when I get there, we have about 15 people in our group. It reminds me of camp, when I was in Aaliyah, the travel camp so aptly named, and we went on field trips away from the JCC everyday. We went to lots of movies, because swimming was often cancelled, as it rains too much in Florida.
Anyway, it's Shabbas, we're all Jewish...and we go to see a Christmas movie with elves and Santa. Nice...At the end of the movie, Richard finds a HUGE bag of popcorn, I'm talking nearly as large as Reiser. Sorry, I'm just thinking height-wise, and I think that Arthur is taller than you. Wow, this entry is getting long. Oh well. Richard takes the popcorn outside, and people are eating it and staring at us, when someone prophesizes that it may be all that was swept up from the floor. Hee hee. Goldstein spit his popcorn all over the place. However, we were playing cheap Jews and thinking about maybe saving it for the Crazy Science Extravanganza...yeah. Three-day-old popcorn, possibly from the floor. I don't think so...
After the movie, we decide to go to Amy's Ice cream. Not only is everyone there, but I ran into one of the strangest people at work, Matt R. Shut up, Yuli, he IS strange. I could kind of tell that Arthur was wondering what was up with this guy.
So, Goldstein orders ice cream with alcohol or something in it, and I tease him about it, saying he's not old enough. He proceeds to pull out his driver's license, and I, being Ashleigh, steal it. He tries to take my purse, but I know how to kick people in the balls really hard, so he negated that idea. Somehow, Aaron got a hold of my cell phone, but he starts to scream, "What do I have to do physically to get my license back?" I turn to Arthur and say, "Well...no comment," and Arthur rolls his eyes at me. I eventually get my phone back, but I still have the license. Oh yeah, Aaron had my purse, and for ten minutes, he couldn't come close to getting the zipper closed. Very humorous.
I go to sit next to Aaron, and he leans forward. Arthur tells me that, when a man leans forward, it means he wants a massage. I wasn't going to do that in the middle of an ice cream parlor, so I dug my nails into Aaron's back instead. Me so kind. Then we debated the differences between "man," "guy," and "boy." Here's what we came up with:
Boy - newborn to about high school age.
Guy- 18-36ish
Man- someone with a real job
Aaron told me I'm a man, because I have a real job. Yum.
We were there for forever, and then I wanted to go home with Aaron. Arthur invited me to crash at his place and scare his Aaron in the morning, but my tired mind had other crazy intentions.
I'm going to cut this here, because it is sooooo long, but that was my day of being awake for 22 hours straight. Yeah, crazy times. I had fun though, and that's what counts.