So life is kind of crappy; I can deal. I can make lemonade from lemons.
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Pain, pain, go away...but don't you come back again another day! I am sitting here, moaning, because I am in so much pain. I have to work today, however, so I am hoping that it goes away soon. I have to get a HIDA scan tomorrow, because this may be related to my gallbladder. The PA also suggested, that though it has only been a year, scar tissue from my appendectomy may be wrapped around my intestines. Lovely. If nothing is found on the HIDA scan, I get to have an enodoscopy. I am finally realizing that, though it is not entirely stress-related, the condition is aggravated by stress. It's pretty elongated, and I don't want to type it all out now to explain it, but basically, I am more confused than I have been in a while. This whole thing with Adam was so whirlwind, so wonderful, and so wrong. We should have gotten to know each other, but we just rushed, rushed, rushed, though we claimed we were taking things slowly. All I want him to be is my friend; that's what he said he would be. However, he has now suddenly removed me from his buddy list, and I now feel so cut off, hanging off the edge. Adam. if you are reading this, I am sorry, but just please imagine where I am coming from at the moment.
Back to this being related to stress, everytime Adam does something that stresses me out, such as telling me that he removed me from his buddy list, I get a wave of pain. I understand that I do feel emptiness at this point, and that will be normal, but I also have the pain waking me up at odd hours of the night, which even the doctor said is signal that it is not entirely stress-related. All that I know is that I desire the ceasing of the pain. As I have exclaimed so many times already, this is getting ridiculous. How is a person supposed to live like this? I cannot do it much longer. Okay, I need to get dressed for work now, but please, if anyone is out there, I need help. I cannot take the pain, please help me. Someone, anyone.